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Mar. 20th, 2008

insane baku

Lies as smooth as silk - rant

My hate never rests, and my soul is like my appendix- I never use it. I'm only a shadow of who I used to be: sweet, loving. I've asked myself many times if it's really possible to have been manipulated and twisted so swiftly, swayed by power and longing, or if it's just a faze. Or could it be true that I'm just infulenced much too easily by power and something that is appealing to my eye? I don't like to hug people anymore, and I don't like to talk to them. I converse with seldom who intriuge me, such as a girl I met recently. I was drawn to her. My friends are confused as fuck seeing as I skip sitting with them at lunch in the cafeteria, opting to sit alone in the library, writing. I never sign on to msn, and I leave my cellphone off, ignoring texts and calls. I just don't care. I'm completely anti-social and I'm quite sure I have a bad condition of 'two-faced bitch.' Everyone knows me as a sweetie; never done drugs, never drank, but when no one is around I am a fucking unbelievable force. I leave scars when I'm mad, as I always feel the need to do something drastic when my temper flares. I've vowed never to have another boyfriend, and to never get married. Children are out of the question, and emotions are weak. I'm beginning to sound like a cartoon villian, and I know it. I told a friend once that I wrote about dark things. She replied, "Like death?" I could only laugh. No. It's all like, fucking rape and murder and suicide and emotional torture. What the fuck, I know. I'm different, and I wonder what's happened. 

BTW, Yami Bakura is lovelovelove.
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Jan. 1st, 2008

misaa baby

they taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth

 Happy 2008, everyone!
 To help bring in the new year, I made some of those cliche resolutions we all seem to do, even though we know we won't do them. I think writing resolutions are okay, as long as they are reasonable. I'm brutally honest with myself, and I never bring home my homework from school because I already know I'm going to spend all my time on the computer, not even bothering to open up my backpack. ((It's funny how I still maintain decent grades with that kind of attitude)). Anyways, so I figure these goals are realistic enough, and not so much of a waste of time, seeing as they are kind of important.

1. Think more seriously about post-grad. This is a biggie since I have no idea what I want to be. I have my heart set on writing, but my parents won't support that as a career.

2. Attempt to pay attention in class and do a little bit of studying at home. Yeah, can you tell I'm pretty slack with myself? BTW, it's March and this resolution is out the window. Bahaha.

3. Try hard to excel in what I do. I have no idea if I spelt excel right. Whatever. By this I mean dance. I hate dance, but whatever. I'm in hip hop - I may as well look good doing whatever the heck I'm doing up there.

4. Writing. I never usually make goals for writing. I don't need to. It's basically my life. The only thing I need to work on is completing a piece of work when given a random topic and a deadline. I hate writing about things that I have no interest in. And I need to stop leaving all my work half-finished on fanfiction.net. I'm preeetty sure some people get mad at that kind of thing. My bad.

Dec. 20th, 2007

CattishMatt

restinpeace

 UGH, GUYS. Why is DEATH NOTE so amazing? Light is a freaking babe. And L absolutely amazing - I still refuse to watch episode 25, because I know I'll bawl when I see 'im die. That's the kinda thing I would do. Speaking of killing and all that good stuff, why the hell are all these wacky creators killing off my favorite characters? Auel Neider, too. Jesus, give me a break. What about Bankotsu and Matt? All DEAD.  Kthnxbai. 
CattishMatt

March 2008

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